Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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