so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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