i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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