Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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