I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize