I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
