Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just pee around me
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
