just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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