id be glad to
I can text with my tongue
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
