Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
