So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
