There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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