dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
