no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
