My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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