So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize