i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
