Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
