K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
