i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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