so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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