I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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