Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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