yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
