Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
