I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
