Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
