My first STD was from a foam party
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
