Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
