I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
