theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
