omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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