he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
