So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize