im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
