My room smells like vodka and shame
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
