How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
