In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
