you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
