he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
