I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
