Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
