Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He better not be in your backpack
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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