i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
