we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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