So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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