Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
