omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
