He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
