he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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