also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
wow bdsm is so cute
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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