i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
