all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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