Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I believe in your delicious
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
